Sep 09
11
One of the key concepts on the Catch Him and Keep Him eBook by Christian Carter is communication. Any relationship – no matter if it is platonic, marital, casual or committed, will benefit or flounder in relation to the communication abilities of the partners.
I am sure that you have heard the catch phrase saying that men and women are two sides of the same coin or men are from Mars and Women are from Venus – or whatever it is you would like to say. Most people agree (including Christian carter) that men and women communicate in essentially different ways, though, no matter how you say it (I guess that is a bad pun!).
What most WOMEN need to realize, though, is that it is OK to NOT know, or even understand, what your man is thinking. Christian Carter stresses this in Catch Him and Keep Him, and says that this kind of rift is to be expected – after all – even Edward Cullen can’t read Bella’s mind!
One of the key mistakes that women make in relationships, though, stems from this urge to always know or understand what their man is thinking – we try to get HIM to VALIDATE what WE are thinking or feeling, because we feel it is essential to the understanding that we crave as women. (Christian Carter goes into this in depth in the Catch Him and Keep Him eBook, beginning on page 19).
So let’s take a minute to think about what Christian Carter is saying here …
1) Guys and gals think and react differently to almost every situation
2) Therefore – being unable (and UNEQUIPPED) to understand each other all the time is par for the course
3) If, then, we can expect to not understand men all the time, nor they us, how is it that we expect them to be ABLE to validate our feelings
4) If men are UNABLE to validate our feelings, why do we ask it of them, providing them with frustration for something they cannot do?
In other words, when you try to make a man validate your feelings – when you try to CONVINCE him to understand what you are feeling, saying or trying to do – you are, in essence, forcing him to conform to your ideas. Another way to say it is that you are trying to get him to tell you that what you are feeling is ok – like if he goes out with his friends for a night out and you get mad – perhaps you try to “talk” to him and MAKE him see how what he did it detrimental to your relationship – you are trying to get him to validate your feelings.
For men, Christian Carter says, this feels like needy behavior and many times they will agree with you just to make you stop. Not good. Mind you – Christian Carter is not saying it IS necessarily needy behavior, but he is saying it is how it is usually viewed by men.
As a woman, then, what should we DO about this validation problem?
The very simple answer to that is STOP. SCREW VALIDATION. You feel what you feel, and you are entitled to feel what you feel. You don’t have to have permission from your man to feel the way you do, and in truth, he does not have to understand it. So give YOURSELF permission to experience your own emotions and to have your own feelings. THEN, give everyone else permission not to agree with them. It does not matter if they agree or not. The feelings are YOURS. Christian Carter says that the confidence alone that comes from knowing you need no one else’s validation is a HUGE attraction boost, and will help you to Catch him and Keep Him.
Click here for more information on Christian Carter and Catch and Keep Him, and his philosophies that have changed womens’ lives.
Catch Him and Keep Him by Christian Carter