I am sure that you have heard the catch phrase saying that men and women are two sides of the same coin or men are from Mars and Women are from Venus – or whatever it is you would like to say. Most people agree (including Christian carter) that men and women communicate in essentially different ways, though, no matter how you say it (I guess that is a bad pun!).

What most WOMEN need to realize, though, is that it is OK to NOT know, or even understand, what your man is thinking. Christian Carter stresses this in Catch Him and Keep Him, and says that this kind of rift is to be expected – after all – even Edward Cullen can’t read Bella’s mind!

One of the key mistakes that women make in relationships, though, stems from this urge to always know or understand what their man is thinking – we try to get HIM to VALIDATE what WE are thinking or feeling, because we feel it is essential to the understanding that we crave as women. (Christian Carter goes into this in depth in the Catch Him and Keep Him eBook, beginning on page 19).

So let’s take a minute to think about what Christian Carter is saying here …

1) Guys and gals think and react differently to almost every situation
2) Therefore – being unable (and UNEQUIPPED) to understand each other all the time is par for the course
3) If, then, we can expect to not understand men all the time, nor they us, how is it that we expect them to be ABLE to validate our feelings
4) If men are UNABLE to validate our feelings, why do we ask it of them, providing them with frustration for something they cannot do?

In other words, when you try to make a man validate your feelings – when you try to CONVINCE him to understand what you are feeling, saying or trying to do – you are, in essence, forcing him to conform to your ideas. Another way to say it is that you are trying to get him to tell you that what you are feeling is ok – like if he goes out with his friends for a night out and you get mad – perhaps you try to “talk” to him and MAKE him see how what he did it detrimental to your relationship – you are trying to get him to validate your feelings.

For men, Christian Carter says, this feels like needy behavior and many times they will agree with you just to make you stop. Not good. Mind you – Christian Carter is not saying it IS necessarily needy behavior, but he is saying it is how it is usually viewed by men.

As a woman, then, what should we DO about this validation problem?

The very simple answer to that is STOP. SCREW VALIDATION. You feel what you feel, and you are entitled to feel what you feel. You don’t have to have permission from your man to feel the way you do, and in truth, he does not have to understand it. So give YOURSELF permission to experience your own emotions and to have your own feelings. THEN, give everyone else permission not to agree with them. It does not matter if they agree or not. The feelings are YOURS. Christian Carter says that the confidence alone that comes from knowing you need no one else’s validation is a HUGE attraction boost, and will help you to Catch him and Keep Him.

Click here for more information on Christian Carter and Catch and Keep Him, and his philosophies that have changed womens’ lives.

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One of the things a woman wants to be aware of when having an initial conversation with a man, according to Christian Carter, is the attraction that she is or can be creating for him. Attraction can be created using certain conversation techniques that lead a man to see how interesting, unique and unpredictable you are. These three qualities are very high on the list of what really DOES create attraction for a man.

One of the questions Christian Carter tells his readers to ask a man is “What kind of woman do you respect?” This questions is a VERY high value question, because not only is it a unique thing to ask in a conversation, but it also communicates to him that respect is high on YOUR list of characteristics. His answer will reveal to YOU how he looks at women, what qualities he looks for in a woman and what he likes and dislikes – all without you asking him twenty different questions to put together the same answer.

This also creates attraction for a man because it shows him that YOU are not too taken with him to realize that HE has to meet YOUR quality standards. Christian Carter writes that this is a “fun and subtle kind of tension building” (Christian Cater, Catch Him and Keep him, p 205) that helps lead to sexual tension and attraction for a man.

It’s ingenious, really. You are challenging him to answer a unique question, putting him on the spot to see how he will react and gauging his character all in one. Not too bad, huh, for 7 little words? This mix of seriousness and flirtatiousness is an attractive factor to most men, and will leave him intrigued and trying to see if he can answer your expectations in the right way.

It’s a turn on!

Christian Carter also reveals to women readers in his eBook that there are certain questions men may really want to AVOID answering. Well, too bad guys! We just have to find another way to ASK these questions, right? So things like asking him if he wants to settle down, have a family and a wife, or being honest about what kind of woman he wants to be with or have a relationship with – they are tough questions for a guy. 

Christian carter says that the “secret is to not avoid these issues, but turn them to your advantage. Men have a whole set of “triggers” wired around these things that are waiting for women to tap into, as long as they are approached the right way. And if a woman can get to these triggers, she’ll have a whole different experience and a more direct kind of honesty with the guy that most women will never see” (Christian Carter, Catch Him and Keep Him, p 206) So – the idea is to approach these things in a unique and “cool” kind of way in order to challenge him, raise his attraction and get him intrigued and wanting more. 

Here is some great examples right out of the Catch him and Keep Him eBook…

For example, using the same playful and confident tone, with a slight mischievous grin, asking, “So what are your weaknesses when it comes to women?”

“How would your last girlfriend describe you to her friends?”

“What have you always wanted in a woman that you haven’t come across yet?”

The idea, says Christian Carter, is to give him a challenge in a playful and fun way in order to keep the attraction going. This will paint you in a VERY unique light in HIS mind, and instantly make you more attractive than most of the other women he has likely met.

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